So my roommate and I decide to go to the serf Saturday morning because I've never been there and I think that people who work out are cool and I want to be like them. So we are walking to the capital to catch the bus and the odd things begin to happen. First, we see 2 ducks that seem like statues. I know, ducks aren't weird, but it's weird when you start to chase them and they don't even move. We then see a little weiner dog wearing a red shirt. Again not weird, I just really like weiner dogs. We finally get to the bus stop which has the benches and a little roof on it. There is a guy standing right outside of the shelter waiting for the bus too. The roommate and I are talking, enjoying the capital view when an egg falls off of the roof and almost hits the man standing outside... that incident is weird. Get ready for part two... much more interesting than part one.
Part two: Roommate and I get on the bus and sit down. I don't know if you've ever ridden the bus on a Saturday or if this is the usual Saturday crowd but wow.... some real odd ones were on today. Right after we sit down, the bus driver turns around and yells "HEY!! WHO'S EATING ON THE BUS?!! everyone just kind of looks around, pretty confused. He goes on to yell "I SMELL ORANGES! WHO HAS AN ORANGE?" this old lady speaks up and says " uh, I have and orange but I put it in my bag..." then scary Mr. busdriver yells at her some more: "UH, I'M ALLERGIC TO ORANGES! GET OFF THE BUS AND THROW IT AWAY. DO YOU WANT ME TO GO INTO ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK WHILE I'M DRIVING? IT'S BEEN THE LAW FOR FOUR YEARS... NO EATING ON THE BUS."
so naturally, I'm a little bamboozled by this over-reaction but I don't want to see the busdriver freak out again so I keep my composure... even though it was hillarious. So we start to travel toward state street and two sketchy guys get on the bus. One of them has a few patches of really long hair on his head and he's carrying a bike tire. the other guy seems a little out of sorts and pretty questionable. the second guy sits down right next to lady, which was not necessary because there were plenty of open seats, but whatever, not a big deal. after about a minute, the second bus episode happened.
the bus is calm, people are chatting and acting relatively normal when the lady sitting next to creeper number two lashes out at the creeper next to her; "Get off of me! You are always flirting with me and poking me and touching me! You are dirty and I want you to stay away from me!" Now everyone on the bus has got to be thinking 'what is wrong with that crazy lady?' the creeper next to her just shakes his head like he doesn't know what to say when the creeper with the bike tire pipes out and starts screaming at the crazy lady.
this was honestly the most confusing and entertaining bus rides I have experienced! at this point, the people are yelling at each other and the bus driver who is allergic to oranges is getting pissed off. i figured that was my cue to exit the bus, even though it was not my stop.
i realize that this blog was probably confusing and not as funny to you as it was to me, but wow. there are some really peculiar people around here. the end.
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4 comments:
Nice. Sounds hilarious. I've encountered similar bus situations, but never on a weekend.
Same here, I was on the 81 on a saturday night when a couple guys got on and sat down next to me and a couple of friends. In the time it took to get back to Lakeshore, one of them managed to try to pick a fight with me and one other stranger, hit on one of my friends, smoke a cigarette (still on the bus), and spit on himself. His poor cousin who was with him spent the whole time watching over him like he was 5 years old.
That's a pretty horrible bus driver. I've never met a bus driver like that. But that part about the egg almost hitting the man was funny. Reminds me of a similar incident at the building where I live. Apparently, some prankster threw an egg at an apartment door. The guy living in that apartment put a note at the front door swearing at whoever threw the egg.
This winter, after a particularly bad snow storm, I was walking around the capital square, when someone behind me started to shout. I turned around ans saw a guy on the corner of State St. standing in knee deep snow banging on the door of the bus. He wasn't scary in any way; he was just a little late to the bus stop and was trying to catch it at the red light.
But the bus driver wasn't in the mood to open the doors. Maybe it was too cold that day? Maybe the driver saw this guy holding oranges?
When the light turns green, the bus takes off, knocking the hopeful passenger into the snow bank. He could have slipped under the rear tire of the bus.
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