I've recently discovered that Valentine's day takes the cake for crappiest day of the year. Even with my plus one, I wasn't a big fan of the forced romance that V-day inflicts on everyone. I think that telling someone to do something romantic and packaging it up for them takes the excitement and authenticity out of true romance. Besides having this mindset, I've also managed to make Valentine's day practically unbearable for the most important people in my life this year.
Did you ever hear stories about the jerk who dumped his girlfriend/ boyfriend on Valentine's day? Every time I've ever heard a story about someone who did that I thought "gosh, who would do that; that's awful." Well, somehow, I ended up being that jerk last Thursday.
I love my boyfriend very much and we've been together since before our senior year of high school. Since then, we've done pretty much everything together. We went to UW Stevens Point together for our first two years of school and then we both transferred here in the fall. We both knew it would be a big change and we thought we were ready for it. However, neither of us realized how strenuous it would be on our relationship.
Things have been rough over the past semester and they've only been getting harder. We both have hard classes and we live far enough apart where we don't get to see each other very much, pretty much just on the weekends. That's a huge change for us; we've been able to see each other pretty much every day since we started dating. Between not seeing each other and our other list of relationship stresses, I decided early last week that we needed to take a break from each other for a little while. It really freaked me out at first because I never imagined having to take a break from our relationship. Once I got the idea in my head, it was hard to think of anything else and it began to sound like a pretty good idea, just until we both got back on our toes and figured things out for ourselves.
I had planned on waiting until next weekend to talk to him about it, but when we saw each other on Valentine's day he could tell something was bothering me and insisted that we talk about it. So, I told him how I felt and he agreed that a break might be good. I really feel like a bitch because who says "we need a break" on Valentine's day? Since then, my heart has just been aching and I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do or not. I think it could be good if we sincerely take a break and use it to re-assess our lives, but I just feel like crap and I know he does too.
Anyway, the moral of the story is, don't say "we need a break" on Valentine's day; it's not nice.
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I entirely understand! I didn't break up with my ex on Valentine's Day, but I did go through the rest of that. We had dated since my Senior year of high school until last spring (2 and a half years). Somehow things just went wrong, and our relationship wasn't how it used to be. It totally freaked me out too. I seriously had never thought of my life without him in it. But, I convinced myself that we needed a break. And that's what happened. Except we never got back together. We actually stopped seeing each other for a few months. We're friends now, but we're not ever going to be more than that again. I used to wonder what if I had never thought that? We were together so long, what happened??
But, at the end of the summer I started dating my best (guy) friend, and things are fantastic now. Seriously, I had no idea any guy could be better than the first, but this one is. I suppose it helps that we were friends first, but we just go together so much better than I thought anyone could.
So, basically, I understand. But you shouldn't feel guilty or bad about it, because somehow things have a way of working out. Maybe the break will be what you need to work out your relationship, or maybe it will be more than just a break, but it will get better.
Anyway, how fun would Valentine's Day have seriously been for you if you didn't spice things up a little with that?
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